Men's Rules

[armand]

MAN LAWS



We always hear "the rules" from the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" On Purpose!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.



1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere in a hurry,
absolutely anything you wear is fine. REALLY!

a. You have enough clothes.

b. You have too many shoes.

c. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!



1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, if i was married I would have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Terrin]

I like sleeping on the couch sometimes. Of course i did get divorced. I am engaged again though but maybe im a slow learner.?? If i could give advice to any of you younger guys when it comes to women it would be this Just because you think its funny doesnt mean she will. learn when to shut up and look interested (you dont really have to be just look like it) and remember Roses and Jewelry for no reason buys alot of forgivness when you screw up later and trust me you will.

[Brianna]

ya know...i read this and my first thought was to go and find the woman's rules and post them but i couldnt help laughing...trust a guy to make me laugh this early in the morning when i feel like crap



thank you


love bri



ps. your rules are all wrong

[xare]

Ohh fine print!!!!!

ps. your rules are all wrong

[Damien Kilcannon]

I didn't see anything wrong with those rules Bri....They looked fine to me!

[AshOfCaine]

LOL

I needed that a year ago for my ex. I couldn't get her to understand men don't know what women mean only what they say.

As for the couch, I love my couch! I never considered it punishment at all. Then again my ex was a bit psycho, sent me to the couch and then was mad for 3 days because I went! Talk about times just can't win.

[Brianna]

see i have spent my time on the couch and let me tell you its no fun but at the same time i have never sent my guy there so i guess i am the exception to the rule there


and as far as the seat of the toilet goes i have no problem dropping it down into position for me to use my problem is the guy who refuses to raise it when nature calls....excuse me if i am willing to drop it you should be willing and able to lift it


lol


love bri

[AshOfCaine]

The toilet seat reminds me of a complaint I got at my first manager job. A place that had one uni-sex restroom. There were 5 males and one female, and she came up to complain one day that the seat was always up. I couldn't believe the woman was actually complaining about this in the work place not to mention 5-1 ratio.

[Mystique]

You just made my day-- 8) I loved the *Men Rules* and so true. Men like direct questions and answers. Women seem to believe all men have a concept of what we are explaining and should automatically know what we are talking about.

So why do we take up all that time trying to explain everything--before asking the question. Oops

By the time I (woman) get around to the question or suggestion, my male friends and I both have forgotten what I was talking about.

[Irwin Hunter]

Yeahs. That about sums it up, Armand. I want to say more, but I am afraid of messing up the enough said rule. I probably already did

[AlmondJoy]

I dont know I think you left out a rule or two at least they are rules my husband lives by

If you are not happy with the way things are then it must be your fault

If you are honest with me and tell me what I do that makes you unhappy I will search for some other cause as it cannot possibly be me.

If you somehow prove in an argument that I am the cause of your unhappiness I will point out all your faults till the original point you made is forgotten

[Damien Kilcannon]

That is fighting dirty AJ....No fair!

[Tracy]

lol

[crimson]

yep, but it wouldn't work with me cause I'd either confuse you more then you where trying to confuse me or stick to my guns and not let you change subjects.

silly women thinkin the world is flat.