Insanity :NH

A place for role played stories and other creative writings

Insanity :NH

Postby Vin Decatur » Fri Feb 01, 2008 10:34 pm

Note: I may, from time to time, post stories with little or no humor. I'll note these stories, as i did this one, with a :NH in the title.

Insanity

Before I begin my story, let me give you some background first.
Deciding to become a raconteur was a long process.
I had grown tired of the obnoxiouness that permeates much of our lands.
Despondent, I decided to leave these lands and return no more.
I gave away all my things.
Everything.
Just as I was about to go, I was stopped by Maddwg.
I had heard of the silly man flying that ridiculous Dos Equis banner.
(Who names a guild after a crappy tasting beer?)
We bagan to talk and he convinced me that it was not the world that needed to change.
It was I that needed a change.
We discussed the life of the raconteur and it appealed to me.
I agreed to give it a try.

Jack Tallow had been the 'evil' raconteur.
Maddwg was the 'neutral' raconteur.
I wanted to be a 'good' raconteur. Maddwg agreed.
If I was to become a raconteur, I needed a new name. One that no one would know.
My history would be erased. Like joining the French Foreign Legion!
We debated names and narrowed it down to Vin Decatur and Ray Contour.
While Ray was cool, in the end, Vin won out.

Maddwg took me to his house and gave me a small area to call my own.
He outfitted me much as he was geared up and supplied me with any gold I needed.
I spent several weeks studying the tales and rules of the raconteurs.
Apprently, the raconteurs have more rules than most religions!
For the next several weeks, I spent most of my days retraining my skills.
The evenings I spent in Maddwg's vast but confusing 'library'.

It was one such evening when my tale begins, several weeks before I joined PAS.
I was sitting at a small desk reading one of Maddwg's guides,
"How To Make Killing Others Look Accidental".
Maddwg came up the stairs with two men that I did not know.
(I would later learn they were Dr. Phil N. Ill and Phineas P. Howe, Esq.;
a two bit lawyer from the firm of Dewey, Cheatam and Howe.)
Maddwg sat behind a long table and the two other men took seats across from him.
Up until this incident, I had forgot that Mad still held one serious role.
He is still the Judge of the 1st Circuit Court of Sonoma.

Dr. Phil was a balding man that appeared to not have missed many meals.
Mr. Howe was a thin, sickly looking fellow that reminded me of a weasel.
His hair glistened with way too much grease of some sort.
They were both dressed in tailored suits.
Maddwg was dressed in his usual plain black robe.
His long graying hair and van dyke make him look more like an old hippie
from some forgotten past than a judge.

Maddwg leaned back and placed his feet up on the table.
Lighting a pipe, which seemed to cause the other two men some discomfort, Maddwg began their conversation.
Which went like this:

Maddwg: Well, Doc, you saw the man. Tell me what you thought.
Dr. Phil: I saw him all right. It's my opinion that you and the jury just got it wrong.

Phineas leapt from his chair!

Mr. Howe: Ahah! I demand my client be released right away!
Maddwg: Sit down and shut up until I ask your opinion.
Mr. Howe: Well I never..

Maddwg cut him off in midsentence.

Maddwg: And you never will from the looks of it. Now, SIT DOWN!

Phineas meekly sat back down and tried to look angry.
It didn't work, at least not from where I sat.
Maddwg puffed on his pipe and waved toward the doctor.

Maddwg: Go on, Doc.

It was apparent that the good doctor did not enjoy being called Doc.

Dr. Phil: It's DOCTOR Phil, by the way. It is my opinion that Cantabrigian is not insane by the definition used by the courts.
Maddwg: So, you are saying that he is not crazy

Phineas beemed, reminding me of a smug weasel.

Dr Phil: Oh no, the man is most definetly insane. I guess the medical term would be Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Phineas blanched and I couldn't help but giggle just a little.

Dr. Phil: However, he DOES know the difference between right and wrong. He just doesn't care.
Phineas: I deman..
Maddwg: Shut up! I'll listen to you when I'm done with the Doc. Until then, don't say a word.

Dr. Phil grimaced at the 'doc'.
Maddwg had placed his feet back on the floor and sat up in his chair.
It looked like he was going to leap over the table and throttle Phineas.
I could imagine some wandering soul coming across a weasel corpse out in the boonies somewhere.
I think Phineas P. Howe got the picture as he gulped and slumped back in his seat.

Maddwg: One other thing Doc, is he Lord British?
Dr. Phil: Before I answer that, what did the Court decide?
Maddwg: Actually the jury was split on that decision. I think some of the jurors went on their own beliefs. From where I sat, the prosecution made an overwhelming case suggesting that he was LB. Thankfully, that was not a decision we had to legally declare.
Dr. Phil: Yeah, I read the transcripts. Whatever anyone else thinks, HE thinks he is Lord British. I tried hypnotizing him and could not find any evidence that he was being decietful in that regard. He could be so insane that he has forgotten his real past, I've seen it before.
Maddwg: Thanks for your help, Doc.

Maddwg now turned his attention to Mr.Howe, who no longer seemed to want Mad's attention.

Maddwg: Before you say anything, I have a question for you. How did you come to be involved in this matter?
Phineas: I was hired by an 'friend' that wishes to remain anonymous. Some people are concerned about the righful ruler of our lands being imprisoned over these false accusations! Was it not Lord British that offered his subjects safe refuge from criminals? The usurper needs to be brought down and Lord British placed back on the throne!
Maddwg: Rightful ruler, my ass. Whether he is Lord British or not, Lord British vacated his throne and abandoned the people of Sonoma. Look at our lands! Criminals, murderers and low lifes amass huge wealth and intimidate any that don't go along with their ways. It was Lord British that split our world instead of bringing justice to the lands. He took the lazy way out of fixing the massive homicide issue. To make matters worse scammers, thieves and child molesters run free in Trammel where they can never be brought to justice! In court, I have to be neutral and by the gods I am. However, this is my home.

I could tell that Maddwg was upset over having made that outburst. Unknowingly, Mr. Howe had pushed the right buttons, or wrong buttons depending on how you see it. The split of Trammel was a sore issue to bring up.

Maddwg: Anyway, King David actually leads his people by example. He doesn't just issue commands for all to follow or set himself apart from everyone else. So, he can 'usurp' to his hearts content for all I care. I have never seen Lord British do anything besides make speeches and make a few very rare appearences amongst the 'little people'. Did he ever actually 'lead' anyone?

Maddwg: That's all of no issue here. I'm sure your issue is getting Cantabrigian released.
Mr. Howe: Yes, your honor.

He beamed with that unseemly smugness.

Maddwg: Not gonna happen.
Mr. Howe: But your honor..
Maddwg: No buts. If you or anyone else press this matter I will see that murder charges are brought against him.
Mr. Howe: You have no right! That would be double jeopardy!
Maddwg: No it wouldn't. In the months leading to his arrest, Cantabrigian (or whoever he is) murdered several people, including one of his own employees. Those cases are fairly cut and dry and do not require convincing anyone of his identity. It was THAT MAN. Those charges were not brought before the court, so no double jeopardt. If you or anyone else press for his release I will have him removed from the comfort he is kept in now and placed in the Yew prison. Once he is convicted, and face it, the evidence against him is overwhelming, he will live in prison forever.
Mr. Howe: That is blackmail!
Maddwg: Call it what you like. My duty lies with justice for the people of Sonoma. Letting this insane freak loose on Sonoma would not be just! However, I can be impartial in Court and am more than willing to take this before the people IN COURT.

Mr. Howe squirmed in his chair.

Mr. Howe. All right. I'm sure my employer will agree with your 'demand'. At least until he can..
Maddwg: Just let me say that if anyone makes any effort for use force to free Cantabrigian they will regret it and so will he. If that happens he will be tried for those murders and if convicted
he will be deleted. No running to the Healer. Gone. Do you understand?

Mr. Howe just nodded, dejectedly.
Dr. Phil grinned.

Dr. Phil: That was quite unconventional. A judge couldn't get away with that where I come from.
Maddwg: You are right. However, Sonoma has no constitution and the law extends just to where the good people of Saonoma can bring it to bear. Normally, that means PAS and a few others bear the burden. That gives me a little more discretionary power than in your world.
Dr. Phil: Hey, thanks for an interesting visit. We can find our own way out.

Dr. Phil rose and shook hands with Maddwg. Mr. Howe stomped out of the room.

Maddwg: Come back for a visit sometime Doc.
Dr. Phil: Sure, sure. I need to run. I have a T.V. show to do!

Once, they were both gone I moved to where they were sitting and sat down. I passed an ale to Maddwg and opened one for myself.

Me: Hey Mad, Whats a teevee show?

Maddwg shrugged.

Maddwg: A play put on by transvestites?

We both sipped our ales.

End.......for now.

Postscript:
From the Events listed the Calender, I think this is being continued real soon!
User avatar
Vin Decatur
Warrior
Warrior
 
Posts: 182
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:05 pm
Location: Santa Rosa, CA

Return to Role Players

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests

cron